So here it is. After much suspense, the resolution that I will be trying to hold true for 2008:
I am fully intending to let go of my failure at marriage with Stephanie, and stop wondering what would have happened if I had done this or that, and by letting go allow myself to love those that love me with the fullness that they deserve. This, of course, relates more than anything to Dani, my lovely girlfriend. :)
The reason why I’ve resolved to such a thing is that I feel like I’ve been holding on to doubt, wonder and guilt for a while. What if she came back, what would I do? What if she never did? How should I tell her the things that I think, that I thought, that I felt and that I feel? And what do I have to win from any of this? The answer to that last question is very little, and from that, the other questions are answered with something pretty similar to "who cares?". I shouldn’t, and I won’t. I don’t need to, and the tree is not letting me see the forest.
At any rate, being the manly man that I am, I don’t feel entirely comfortable posting on the internet so often about feelings and fluffy stuff, so here are a few more resolutions of lesser importance:
- Beat my time at the Great Ski Race.
- Pay off my credit card.
- Maintain my relationship with my old host family, the Aikins, and make myself more available and helpful to them. (Hi Kathy, whenever you read this!)
- Continue my studies, and take a few classes that will actually count towards a 4-year degree.
- Play in every volleyball tournament that is within 100 miles of Reno during the summer.
- Greatly decrease the ammount of stuff I download from dubious sources. As such, I’ve just bought Daft Punk’s Alive 2007 from Amazon’s online MP3 downloads section. Guilt-free!
- Post in this here blog at least once a week! :protarget:
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YAY!