Nico’s

Let’s start from the beginning here. It was the day after Easter Sunday that my life started changing unexpectedly. Stef wanted a divorce.
I moved out, thinking it’d be temporary, and that we could talk through it and figure out what was going on. My friend Cory hosted me in his living room for 2 long weeks, after which I saw that the resolution of the looming threat of divorce was nowhere near.
I found a small apartment, near UNR, with a month-to-month rent. I was starting to accept the idea that maybe we weren’t going to get back together, and that I better figure out how to be on my own.

During this time, Stef and I went to see a marriage counselor, a pretty cool guy by the name of Richard Cook. Now, I had never been to a marriage counselor, psychiatrist or anything similar, but I must say that this guy is really good. The first thing that he told us after a short introduction was something along these lines: "I am here to tell you that your relationship is over."
At this point, my heart skipped a beat. He continued: "What I do, is help you start your new relationship, because it is obvious that your current one is not working. This is why you’re here." Relief came in, and this answer appealed highly to my logic side, so he had me hooked. The last part of his speech was "Now, this new relationship… it can mean that you’re married, or that you’re not. And that’s what we’ll figure out after a few sessions."
With that mindset in mind, the counseling was very healing and a great learning experience. Guilt was appeased with the understandingn of how the dynamics of our relationship changed, and I went from wondering why Stef didn’t want to be with me annymore to wondering why she was so sure that we couldn’t work on the issues that we obviously had.
I answered that question when chance led me to read about the Walkaway Wife Syndrome. I know, I know, it’s over-simplifying the issue, but it’s pretty damn close to what I felt was going on.
After many talks, tears and days, I gave up on trying to convince Stef to love me again, and decided to stop the wound from bleeding. I agreed to the divorce, we worked out the legalities of it, and I’ve been officially and legally divorced for a few months now.

Life has changed quite a bit because of all this. I work for myself, I can enjoy doing whatever I want to do, without having to worry about fitting into someone else’s schedule or their mood.* I also have total control of my money, and I am living very comfortably. I can afford a few nice things here and there, and that’s how I got the nice digital camera I posted about a few months ago, and also partly on how I got my new car.
I’ve re-discovered friendships, activities, places and feelings, and I’ve moved on from the sadness to reach a state of being happy again. I’m more than content on where I am and what I’m doing, and I no longer feel like I need to grief. I’ve moved on, and things are looking up.

I had been slacking off on posting because of all this. It’s a "juicy" story, and I felt shallow by posting about all sorts of things without really letting my beloved fans know about what’s been going on. So, now that this is out of the way, I will go back to the usual schedule of rambles, rants and random things.

It’s good to be back.

*Editorial: Well, sort of. There’s this one person I’ve been seeing, but that’s for the next batch of "big news". I gotta make sure I have something to make you come back!

This entry was posted on Friday, November 2nd, 2007 at 8:06 am and is filed under Family, Nico. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.